Wednesday, December 10
A Picture of His Love
It's amazing what God chooses to speak to us through: children, nature, music, relationships, a donkey...
When I was with Grace and Gabe this past week I found it difficult to not fall into the ways of the world in how we would naturally react to children. I found myself in many situations where I didn't want to be around them because I just wanted "me" time or time to do dishes or study. Gabe would beg me to watch Star Wars with him and Grace would beg me to play games with her. And as much as they would beg me I just couldn't see any point in it. Gabe can watch a show by himself, Grace doesn't even play the games according to the rules so there's no point in playing with her either. And then, revelation hits. These kids desire my attention, my time, my presence. We desire God's attention, time, and presence and even if we aren't giving ourselves wholly to Him when He gives himself wholly to us, He is there, He is faithful, and He never leaves.
There were also instances where Grace would want food. "Chicken nuggets or ham and cheese roll up?" and her typical answer would be, "I want both AND a cheeseburger." She would cry and cry when I told her no, knowing she could never eat all of that. So I make her half a cheeseburger and ham and cheese with no chicken nuggets. And she eats half of both. And I tell her she needs to eat more and she cries and cries. Kids can be so ungrateful. But, so can we. To God. We want this and that and more. And in God's wisdom He doesn't give it to us all. And what He does give us we don't fully appreciate or use to it's full purpose.
When I was sitting in the bleachers at Gabe's basketball practice there was a little girl, maybe 3 years old at the oldest and her dad was talking to someone. She would run up on the first step of the bleacher and then say "Daddy! Daddy! Watch!" and then he would inconveniently stop his conversation and look and then she would jump! And that was it. And he would tell her to come back to his side. And then she would break away and do the exact same thing again: go up a step, call her daddy, and then jump down, so proud. He gave her no approval and no praise for what she was doing. I felt really bad for her because I could just see her joy and how much she wanted to impress her father, but he wasn't impressed, but at the same time she wasn't bothered by it. And God just filled me with joy and pleasure in what she was doing. He was so pleased in her little jump, so pleased in her joy. He is overwhelmed by the little things we do.
There were many times when I would have to be stern and tell Grace that she could not have something or do something and she would cry. And I could tell it was a fake cry just because she thought she would get her way if she cried. And for the most part I would explain why that was my decision and just let her cry and then she would either A) Go to another room and forget or B) Hear something funny and start laughing. She was so easy to forgive and forget on things like that. One second she would be mad at me because I wouldn't let her do something and the next instance she would be hugging me and loving all over me, enjoying my presence. This was so touching. It is great to be around people (even if it's a child) who are so quick to forgive when they are offended. I want to use her quick forgiveness as an example of how I should be with others. Quick to love. Slow to anger.
There are so many other things God showed me that I can't put into words at the moment. I am so thankful for his wisdom. His backwards kingdom. A kingdom where the children [the child-like] enter and the wisdom of this world does not.